“But I trusted you!”
Four words that crushed my soul. As I have mentioned before, one of my son’s and my favorite activities is to play disc golf together. One beautiful Saturday morning a couple of weeks ago, he and I went out again for another round, when you would have thought the world around him had collapsed – all because of one bad throw.
As we were approaching a large pond ahead of us, he said to me “here dad, you throw mine” – a typical and rational fear of not wanting to throw his frisbee in the water. With loads of confidence, knowing I have successfully made the same throw at least a dozen times before, I released the frisbee toward the basket. As soon as the frisbee released from my hand, I knew we were in for trouble.
Splash! Into the water it went, with no reclamation possible. As he desperately ran over to where the frisbee entered the water and realizing it was long gone, he dramatically fell to the ground, wrapped his arms around his legs, and buried his head down into his knees. Never in my life had I felt so much like a failure – all because of a meaningless frisbee.
There was no consoling him. It was HIS frisbee. Nothing I could say would bring it back. All the excuses I tried to make was not making it any better. And then he looked up at me, with big tears falling from his eyes and said the four words that pierced me like a dagger – “But I trusted you!”
I picked him up off the ground and the two of us headed back to the car with our heads hanging low (pretty sure mine was lower). You’re right, son,” I said. “And I let you down. I am so sorry. But as much as you trust me, there will be times that I’m going to let you down…because I’m human and I make mistakes.” (Not that he was looking for a teaching moment but I figured now was as good a time as any to turn this moment into one.)
“But…”, I continued, “do you know what the great thing about our relationship with our Heavenly Father is? He will never fail us! If we put our trust in Him, no matter what happens, he will never let us down!”
Nailed it, I thought to myself. I don’t mean to boast about this, but I was really proud of myself. Turning a moment like this into a bible lesson for my son…I mean I really thought I deserved an award for being that quick on my feet.
Later that night, once I got home and put the kids down to sleep, I reflected on the day’s events. As I was preparing for bed myself, those words kept replaying in my mind: “But I trusted you.” And I reminisced on the proud “teaching moment” that I shared with him…you know, about trusting God and everything. But then it hit me…how many times have I told God, when something didn’t turn out my own way: “But I trusted you!”
Reflecting over the years of all my reactions to things that I didn’t get or situations that I didn’t want to go through, and instead of living out the very things I just talked to him about, I acted like a 6 year old boy who just lost his frisbee in the pond and proclaimed to God “But I trusted you!”
The realization of my past reactions knocked me to my knees faster and harder than hearing the words proclaimed earlier in the day by my son. Acknowledging the very truth I had spoken into him just a few hours earlier was something I needed to hear, believe, and receive.
How thankful I am for having a Heavenly Father who never fails me. How thankful I am that no matter what situation I go through in life, whether for better or for worse, His love endures through any valley and over any mountain. How thankful I am that no matter how far down my attitude, sin, or lack of faith goes, His mercy is more. And most of all…even more than the love that I have for my son, His love for me is unwavering, despite the disappointments I walk through.
Friends, my prayer for us all this month, as we walk through those disappointing times, is that we have the strength to turn our “But I trusted you” thoughts into a “I still trust You” faith, truly believing that God’s plan for our lives is greater than anything we could ever imagine. Because His love for you is greater than you could ever imagine.
Until next time,